A Slackers Guide to College
Are you looking to make the grade with as little effort as possible? Is the college experience all about the parties you attend and the people you meet? Did you pick your school based on how good the football team is? If so, then this is the one article you must read. It can guide a person such as yourself through college without a hitch.
Attending Class
First of all you should never schedule a class before noon. 2PM if you live off campus. This ensures you can stay out late 7 nights a week and never miss a class should you actually need to go. In most cases, class is unnecessary and therefore it really doesn’t matter. However, there are those occasional tests that do require your presence. Thus 2PM should be attainable.
Taking Notes
Completely irrelevant. Especially if there is a note taking service located on or around your college campus. You could also buddy up with the smart people the first day of classes and copy their notes right before the big test. An excellent idea if you can convince them you are not just using them for personal gain. Don’t worry about your GPA (too much). You will find out later in life that it is all about “Who You Know, Not What You Know.” Thus you should carefully read below on “How to Throw a Great Part.”
Extra Money
Assuming you are renting or leasing a place off campus, then football season is the prime time for you to make some extra money. If you live anywhere near the football stadium you should attempt to cram as many cars as possible on your property. At a price of $15 a car that can add up pretty quick. Never pass up the offer to purchase your student tickets. These are invaluable as you will never have trouble finding someone to purchase them at a premium should you be short of cash.
Partying
This is the crucial element for enjoying your 7 years of undergrad experience. Throw a lot of parties. We have an excellent guide to help you get the most out of your party. Please read our article on “How to Throw a Great Party” to ensure your party is the talk of the town the following week. Please, only follow this guide if you rent or lease off campus. It would probably not be wise to throw this large of a party in your dorm. Make sure you choose a cool roommate who holds these same values. We can also help with that.
Eating
I highly recommend purchasing a meal plan. That way you never have to worry about where your next meal is coming from. That can be a real issue if you just had a bad weekend and your bookie is insisting he get paid ASAP. A prepaid meal plan ensures you will never go hungry, no matter how empty your pockets are. It also takes very little time since you don’t have to prepare meals. But please, do not attempt to impress a date by taking her to the cafeteria and getting her in with a guest pass. If you really need to impress her, check out our amazing Subleaser Recipes.
So there you have it in a nutshell. If you follow this guide you are sure to enjoy your time on campus. Feel free to allot more than the standard four years to make sure you have followed this plan correctly. After all, work can wait!
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